Cartman Finds Love
by KennyExxy
Summary: The ending and aftermath of the episode "Cartman Finds Love." Oneshot. After getting an unpleasant speech and song from Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski goes to Cartman to get answers. But instead gets something completely unexpected. Kyman Kyle x Cartman . Dont like, don't read.


**I do not own South Park or any of the characters in it, all belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Now that I got through that little detail, I would like to introduce to you, my very first fanficton! When I saw this episode it drove me insane. I just watched it over and over again, until finally when I was in Germany I couldn't take it anymore. Thus is how this, my very first fanfic was made. Enjoy... **

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Cartman Finds Love

"ATTENTION! Attention, please!," called a familiar voice from the Megatron. Kyle looked up and was angered and surprised at what he saw. 'Cartman? What the hell is he doing?,' Kyle thought with confusion.

Cartman than announced with a desperate voice,"This a message for all of you out there who have just ended a relationship!" His words were followed by his thought of, 'I hope this works.' He looked at the screen in the room he was in that had Token on it who seemed very surprised. He than looked at the screen with Nichole and Kyle on it to see that Nichole had the same expression on her face. He also couldn't help but notice Kyle rolling his eyes at Cartman words. 'What an asshole,' Cartman thought with anger but he didn't express his feelings on his face.

"Sometimes, love is hard. But you can't just run away from it. When you have something special you have to work at it." Token processed Cartman's words as he made his speech. "Even though it seems the world is against you, you still have to hold on, with both hands! Don't let society dictate who you can and can't be with."

Nichole did the same as Token and Cartman felt his plan working, but here was the hard part.

"Kahl, I love you babe." Kyle almost jumped out of his chair from shock. 'What the fu... NO! No no no no. He is not.' Unfortunately for Kyle, Cartman was. "You can run all you want, try to pretend you like girls, but damn it when we kiss there's magic! Don't let it go Kahl." The crowd around Kyle turned to him with an "aww!" 'God this is so embarrassing' Cartman thought. "I want to hold you every mourning and love you every night Kahl. I promise you nothing but love and happiness."

Cartman than began with "I sweeeaaaarr!" Kyle was immediately put on the screen next to him with a furious look on his face. "Like the moon and the stars in the sky," Cartman sang as him and Kyle were put into a heart with little hearts surrounding, "I'll be there Kahl. I sweeaarr! Like the shadow that's by your side. Kahl, I swear to god I'll be there."

'This couldn't get any worst,' Kyle thought, but oh it did. "For better or worst!," Cartman sang when Brad Paisley randomly came in and sang the same, "for better or worst!" They than continued, "Till death do us part, I'll love you with every gay beat of my heart! I swear Kahl."

The song ended and Kyle decided to go on a all out manhunt to find Cartman and make him pay. Cartman said a simple thank you to the audience, said the bat mobile was outside that made all of them leave except Token and Nichole, and then watched as the two reunited. Cartman walked out of the room, proud of his success.

That's when Cartman's Cupid-me appeared, "Tee hee hee. A place for everything and everything in its place." "Thats right Cupid-me," Cartman replied, "people who are the same belong together." "That's right and I found someone who's just the same as you," announced Cupid-me. "Really!," asked Cartman in excitement. "There she is!," Cupid-me pointed with his arrow. Cartman turned to where he was pointing and saw the the poster child for halitosis, Stacy, who than made a noise that sounded like a man. "What! Fuck you Cupid-me!" Cupid-me smiled and said while flying away, "Tee hee hee. Fuck you." Cupid-me than shot some arrows into Stacy's head and with that Cartman was running for his life.

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Eric Cartman had been running from Stacy, the girl with halitosis who was now deeply in love with Cartman, for about ten minutes. He had lost her for a good three minutes but that's when he showed up. "There you are!," exclaimed a familiar voice. A hand grabbed Cartman's arm and he was pulled towards a certain angry someone.

"You, mother fucker!," Kyle yelled in Cartman's face. 'Oh no," Cartman thought while Kyle just kept thinking, 'Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill.' "Kahl, please, I can't," but before he could finish Kyle interrupted, "I don't care if you can't. You're going to explain right NOW what the hell you were thinking up there with all that crap like, "I love you, babe," and, "I want to hold you every mourning and love you every night," and, "when we kiss there's magic," and, "I promise you only love and happiness". What the fuck Cartman!" Cartman knew he wasn't coming out of this one easily so he thought up something and he thought up quick.

"Kahl, the reason I said all of that stuff, was because its true," Cartman said, trying to sound as passionate as possible. Kyle continued cluelessly, "Yeah, that's what I thought you fat... Wait, what?" Cartman said, with a very serious voice, "I love you Kahl. I always have." Kyle was shocked but then soon frowned, "You're lying." Cartman became nervous, "No Kahl, I'm seriously. Im totally gay for you." But no matter how much Cartman lied Kyle could see right through him, "No you're not. You're lying." Cartman was getting more nervous, for Stacy was coming and he was running out of time. "You're a liar and you're totally lying right n," but before Kyle could finish, that's when he did it.

Before Stacy could come around the corner, Cartman grabbed Kyle by the shoulders, pulled his body towards his own, and pressed his lips against his. It was like everything changed with that single kiss. Hatred, shock, confusion, anger and embarrassment streamed through their minds. The girl Cartman was running from didn't even notice or recognize Cartman and the two who looked so engrossed in their kiss didn't notice her running by. It was like they were in their own world from that moment on. The kiss was fake, but it soon became real when, Kyle started to kiss back, passionately. He even put his arms around Cartman's neck for support, and Cartman put his arms around Kyle's waist as strange as it felt.

'What is Cartman doing? What am I doing! Why is this happening? This is bad. Something's wrong here. I feel, different.' 'Damn, I screwed up. What the hell was I doing kissing Kahl like that? What's Kahl doing anyway! Da fuck is going on here!' Cartman finally decided to open his eyes to see something that angered him. Cartman's little Cupid-me was about to shoot an arrow into Kyle's head. At the same time as Cartman saw this, Kyle was about to end the kiss and break away from Cartman, until Cartman broke the kiss himself. He put his arms around Kyle and slid his hand up to the top of his head, "No, don't you dare." Kyle assumed that Cartman was talking to him, unaware of Cupid-me. That's when Cartman discovered that an arrow was already shot into Kyle's head. 'Maybe this who he meant by "I found someone who's just the same as you,".'

Cupid-me left with a, "Tee hee," and Cartman responded with, "Don't you leave!" Kyle, assuming that Cartman was still talking to him, pushed him off. "You think you're funny, don't you?," Kyle said this harshly yet with a bit of woe in his voice, almost as if, he had had his heart broken. And so he left Cartman alone with that. 'That fat turd,' Kyle thought to himself, but he just couldn't shake the feeling, that he needed to be with Cartman.

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**Man, this episode was great. :) Anyway, I've been getting a lot of requests to continue this fanfic, but unfortunately this is a oneshot but if you did like this one, since I've been asked so much, I will be making another Kyman fanfic that's about three or four chapters longer. I hope you've enjoyed my first fanfic, thank you.**


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